An Honest Moms Journey through Motherhood

Breaking Generational Curses

Breaking Generational Curses

 

It does not matter what your social/economic status is, every family has them. They are the crippling/debilitating issues that are passed down from person to person within a family from generation to generation. I was a little girl when I first heard the term “Generational curse“. I honestly thought that this title was no deeper than a song lyric.  I learned… A generational curse is very real indeed.  It doesn’t matter what it is: depression, alcoholism, or rage; they are all redundant cycles that need to be broken. As I got older, I began to take notice of the ones that plagued my family.  Generational curses are a very real issue that isn’t addressed and looked at head-on for what they are.  These are the topics that we shush. We place them at the back of our closets and cover them in the dark. As a result, our shame is what aids the life of these curses. When we reproduce, they are still there. They taunt our offspring and later on down the road, they tarnish our legacy.  How do we grow, progress, and break the chains if we don’t keep it real and proactively work towards liberating ourselves? I’ve observed just a few of the curses from my family…

 

Low Self-esteem/ Self-worth

This is one of the things that we don’t talk about enough. Growing up, I never had the confidence or a positive self-esteem. When I was younger I didn’t care. My low self-esteem was something that I picked up shortly after I began grade school. As I progressed and passed grade after grade, my self-esteem and self-worth plummeted. Eventually, I never saw myself in a positive light. My closest friends noticed and sometimes they would ask me why I didn’t love myself. I was truly my worse enemy and I did not know why. I didn’t understand where this came from until I hit high school. I began to pay attention to some of the comments that I would hear my mother and sometimes grandmother, and great aunt say. They obviously didn’t have the highest self-esteem either. That is how I put it together. I began to see that some of the strongest women in my family didn’t think too highly of themselves like they should have. This wasn’t just my problem. This was a generational problem. I didn’t change the way I thought and felt about myself until I got grown. When I left high school and began to experience real and raw life in the trenches, I cut myself some slack. Because I entered the world so mentally and emotionally damaged, I went through and accepted some things that I should have never experienced. After emerging through some of those storms, I grew a confidence that could not be shaken or compromised. This is a curse that I have broken before my daughter’s time. Now that I know how to truly love myself, I can teach her the same from infancy.

Children too Young

A strong, meaningful career and Motherhood is something that only a few of the women in my family have been blessed enough to balance. My Grandmother on my mother’s side started having children when she was 20 years old. My grandmother on my father’s side only had one child but she had him during her teenage years. I was my mother’s first child and she had me at a mere 19 years old. These women in my family began having children before they really grew into who they were.  When you have children too young, you stunt your growth. You haven’t established a career. Most women haven’t even begun to set goals yet. That is what your youth is for.  Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of women who have had children young and as a result grown up fast and still have managed to be highly successful. It takes a special determined and motivated woman to do that. I am not sure if I am one of those women. I am 27 years old and I am just now becoming a mom. I declare that chain BROKEN.

Single motherhood

This is a curse among the women in my family that has yet to be broken. Maybe my daughter will be the one to end this vicious cycle once she turns of age. The situation with my daughter’s father and I is no secret. Our relationship was based on lies that he told and me not paying attention to that God-given intuition. These were lies that he kept up with for nearly a year. I do take the blame for part of it. I ignored my gut on some things because I knew subconsciously that the truth was too grotesque for comprehension. Maybe a part of me was scared to face that UGLY. When I found out that I was pregnant, I was told that if I chose to develop and harvest my daughter’s life that I would be in it alone. No one in their right mind wants to have a baby with someone like this. However, her life was never about him. God placed her in my womb for a reason. I never wanted to be a single mother but this is what it is.  I am not ashamed of the fact.  This vivacious little life is far from a mistake. I know that raising her by myself can be done. I’ve had a successful example to look towards.

 

I am far from perfect and I never planned to be a role model to anyone. I was content with leaving this world as a hippie that lived a sole life. That’s just real. Now, I find myself wanting to be my daughter’s inspiration. Like so many other parents, I want her to be better than me and honestly, I’m not too bad. I want to break more of the chains that I have yet to obliterate in my journey. In terms of ones that I cannot break, I want to raise a powerful woman who can. At the end of the day, that is all I truly want for her and her children. I want her to know how to love herself and be free from our hereditary bondage.



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